Danger Lurking

Sorry I was M.I.A. for a few days. I was at home in Maryland spending some much needed time with the family while my sister is home from Mexico.

While New York is famous for shopping, I do enjoy shopping while home. After a nice stroll through the mall, we headed to Everything But Water to go bathing suit shopping. As if bathing suit shopping wasn’t painful enough, what happened at Everything, But Water was unexpected and permanently traumatized me.

I was at the register going through the suits we had picked out when I noticed something long, blue and saber-like protruding from the floor. After trying to get a better look at this foreign object, a little boy jumped up with a Star Wars light saber and startled me. In an effort to calm my nerves, the girl at the register said “Oh it’s just the kid from next door. His mom works at the store next to this.” After all, I wasn’t expecting to find a mini-Anakin at women’s bathing suit store.


So I went back to organizing the suits and next thing you know, the boy was slowly pacing towards me with light saber in hand and death all over his face. So I told the kid I didn’t want to play and he should play with my sister, but little Anakin didn’t listen. In fear of my life, I started to slowly back up preparing to retreat to the dressing rooms when my sister came out. All of a sudden, he whipped out a purple light saber and handed it over to my sister (sigh of relief). After about 10 minutes of saber fighting and bathing suits getting knocked off the racks, the boy walks over to me and stabs me in my stomach. My sister laughs. In what world was a little boy supposed to be harassing the customers and stabbing them in the stomach with a light saber? I’ve always dreaded bathing suit shopping, but this really made me loathe it even more.

Eventually the boy tired out and we asked the boy “what’s your name?” The boy stops, pauses a few moments (breathing heavily), and with an unmistakable look of “kill kill kill” in his eyes, the boy says “My name is Danger.”

And people don't understand why I don't like to play with kids....